Written by Shirin Khamisa, Founder, Careers by Design
A simple practice of love that can SAVE your career.
The practice that I am about to share with you is a fitting one for Valentine’s day.
Not only have I seen it save careers but it also rescued my relationship with my partner when we were going through a tough time.
We’ve been together now for more than 20 years and still going strong.
If your career or love relationship needs a BOOST, this is one practice that can turn things around quickly.
Where Is The Love?
If you are going to work day after day and feeling bored, drained or stressed, it’s easy to lose perspective about what’s possible for your future.
Living in fear of an overbearing boss or working in a toxic work environment can really take a toll on your confidence and self-esteem.
Even keeping up with the fast pace of work can have a significant impact on our ability to cope with day to day challenges. Many of us feel powerless to change the situation. This is a normal automatic reaction to these circumstances.
The good news is - we can take our brains off auto-pilot and redirect them to help us be more in sync with life.
What You Can Do. Right Now.
A daily practice of directing our thoughts to focus on what’s right and what we are grateful for creates positive powerful feelings of wellbeing.
It’s from this more positive place that good ideas and practical actions steps follow. When you live in gratitude, you put yourself back in control and you literally change the way that your brain responds to your environment.
It Sounds Good. BUT ....
If you are like most of my clients, you may be thinking one of the following right now:
"My situation is so bad that it won’t make any difference, besides there is nothing good about it."
"I’ve heard this before. It’s too simple to work."
"That’s it? That’s the powerful practice that is supposed to save my career?!"
Year after year, I’ve sat across from people and seen this simple practice change and transform lives and careers.
A financial analyst I coached was able to see new opportunities for growth in a job where he felt underutilized. A marketing manager who was tired of promoting a product she didn’t feel good about worked up the courage to find a position promoting a charity event raising funds for cancer research. When a small business owner started focusing more on what he was accomplishing,he started feeling a sense of pride and was less overwhelmed.
It will work for you, too!
Rose Coloured Glasses?
It’s not about thinking positive and ignoring the reality of the situation.
In fact, we are creating a more balanced view by finding the good that is present in difficult times.
We all have a powerful force within to create the energy to change.
When we feel stuck in a dark place, love, appreciation and gratitude are the fuel that propels us to greater heights.
The catch is: we have to direct our brains to create these positive states on a regular basis to get the benefits.
When our brains are plagued with negativity, that’s what we focus on.
We need regular doses of gratitude to come back into balance and joy.
I Double Dare You.
I dare you to connect to love, appreciation and gratitude.
I dare you to re-wire your brain.
This Valentine’s Day, commit to some self care. For one week do the simple but powerful practice developed by Dr. Martin Seligman, the leader of the positive psychology movement. I bet you will feel so good that you will decide to continue.
Three Good Things (Also called: The 3 Blessings Exercise)
Every day before you lay your head down to rest, list 3 good things and why they happened to you. They can be small things like a cheerful greeting from a neighbour or something much bigger.
To begin changing your feelings about the difficulty you are facing, list 3 good things specifically about your challenging life or work situation or relationship.
Here are some of the things I’m grateful for.
1. I’m grateful that you’re reading this!
Why it happened + why I feel good about it:
I pushed past my comfort zone and started blogging. I made space in my life for my priorities.
2. I’m grateful that I paused and admired a rainbow and a spectacular sunset.
Why it happened + Why I feel good about it:
When I noticed the sky was a blazing orange-pink, I decided to pause my work and appreciate the view.
3. I’m grateful I stopped to share a special moment with a friend.
Why it happened + Why I feel good about it:
When she shared something from the heart, I took the time to listen and savour the moment of connection.
Now it’s your turn. Share your experience and what’s joyful for you in the comments below.
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